Anatomy of a party

How to throw a successful party:


There are several ingredients one can prepare when planning a party. Not every one is required, but if you are planning on throwing a party sometime in the future, you should at least devote some thought to each one of them. These include:

space
music
food
entertainment & events
intoxicants
people

Out of this list, there are only two which are indispensable: space and people.

Space: Most any space can be used to hold a party. The trick is finding a willing host, because it's a fair amount of work. If it is held in one's home, then you run the risk of property damage, or theft, or whatnot (depending, of course, on the people. More later). On the other hand, renting out a space can be expensive and can take a lot of time to prepare; houses and apartments are usually already set up to accommodate people; rented spaces not so. Also, the size of the space determines the size of the guest list. You can try to cram 50 people into a 4 1/2, but it isn't a great idea.

Music: The music is my personal favourite aspect to plan. It's pretty much guaranteed that not everyone is going to have the same taste, so there's no way to please everyone. Just put on something you like (unless you know most other people really won't enjoy it). The best thing you can do in terms of music is to keep it varied. Don't just put on an album and let it play from beginning to end unless it's specifically intended for that purpose. And even then, chances are that it won't be very varied. It doesn't take that long to make a winamp playlist of a few hours, or 2 or 3 mix CDs. Also, make sure it's energetic near the beginning of the party and subdued by the end, to reflect the atmosphere and the moods of the guests. Most parties begin in the evening, so the usual reason they end is because the guests get tired and want to go to sleep. Also, alcohol is a depressant, so once the drunkenness starts to wear off, you get tired. The music should reflect this.

Food: As for food, just make sure that there's something there for everyone. Take into account if there will be guests who are vegetarian, Jewish, Muslim, or allergic to something to the point where they can't smell it without having an adverse reaction. Ordering pizza and buying chips and soda is usually a safe bet. Pot lucks are fun too - again, it guarantees variety, plus, the food is often better than when you supply it yourself because more people have been working on it. Also, when guests bring something themselves, chances are they'll speak about it with the other guests. It's good for conversation, good for variety, less work for you, plus the guests will feel good for having contributed.

Entertainment & Events: This is tricky. I usually tend to ignore this aspect, because it can preclude my favourite part of the party. As long as there's entertainment, be it a movie, concert, dinner at a restaurant... it diverts people's attention away from each other and onto the event. My personal favourite part of the party is seeing people getting on together, and when nobody is talking because everyone's watching the movie, that's not something I enjoy so much. Even if people are eating dinner at a restaurant, they're limited to speaking with the people sitting next to them instead of being able to move from group to group of people. Of course, if the event is something like snow art, playing games, or building pillow forts, that changes, because the guests' attention is still on each other. Activities like this can make for great parties.

Intoxicants: This really varies depending on the people you've invited. Alcohol is usually a great party catalyst, because it loosens inhibitions, including those of the people who aren't drinking, just because of the atmosphere. If course, if there's one sober person in the middle of a group of people almost passed out from alcohol poisoning, that's not really pleasant. But sober people and tipsy people usually mingle well. The same goes for weed. But again, depending on the atmosphere, the guests might want to remain sober. Not much intellectual analysis goes on after the sixth shot of rum, and sometimes that's the best part of being with a particular group of people. A policy of BYOB is almost always best. It's cheap, if your guests are friendly, they'll share, and it takes the matter out of your hands. Your guests will drink if they see fit, and stay sober if it's that kind of party. Supplying alcohol yourself works well if the party is a fund-raiser, and you charge for it, but in most other circumstances, I wouldn't do it.

People: No matter what else you do to make the party a good one, no matter how many preparations you make, you must remember this one fact, and it is the golden rule of party-throwing: A party is only as good as the people who attend it. So take great care over your guest list. The guest list should also influence everything mentioned above, too. Alcohol, entertainment, music, food. These are not set up so you can entertain your guests; they are set up to help the guests entertain each other.
The first thing you need to decide is: how big do you want the party to be? There is no right or wrong answer. I've been to great parties with two guests and sixty-two guests. If you're going to hold a small party, make sure the people get along, because there's no opportunity to cross the room and make conversation with someone else. Mixing groups of strangers is tricky, but if it can be pulled off, they make for some of the best parties. Some people just will not get along together, but if you leave a party having made new friends, that's a wonderful experience. So invite people who are prone to making new friends, who dance or sing, or tell good stories or jokes. Also, do these things yourself, if you can. These people will help mix up the guests, break up the normal circles, and make the party flow.
If you only invite people who know each other, your work is cut out for you. Everyone is already going to mingle and you should have no trouble.
About strangers: People like to bring their friends to parties, for obvious reasons. But every person that you do not know, in your own home, is a slight cause for concern. For every person you don't know, there's a slightly larger chance of property damage or theft, because people don't care as much about people they don't know. It all depends on how much you trust the friend who invited them. I'm usually fine with strange guests, just so long as I know beforehand that they're coming. On the other hand, this is only true for large parties, because in a small get-together, they'll be around the other guests at all times. Besides, you should get to meet new people too.
If you can, try and invite about the same number of men and women. If it's severely imbalanced, it will not ruin a party, but it will affect the atmosphere and might slightly alienate some people. An even ratio is preferable, but not necessary.
You'll notice something about what I'm writing here. I use the word guests a lot, and the word host very little. That's because a really good party should not require the host to do anything once it gets started. The host should not have to keep the party alive; it should take on a life of its own once the guests arrive, and its own momentum should carry it through. Again: the host should not be entertaining the guests for the whole evening; the host should be helping the guests to entertain each other. If the host leaves the main party for an hour or so, and the party suffers because of it, something is wrong. Some of the best things a host can do include introducing strangers to each other, periodically checking on the food and drink, and - oh yes - enjoying the party. If the host is all business, the guests will notice.

I should write a book on this shit or something.



I am not hosting a New Year's Eve party this year. I told y'all that last year might be the last one, at least for a while, because I might be moving out. And lo, I did. Furthermore, my workplace never closes, not for any holiday or anything, so I might actually be working that night. I'll know soon.
So, this means that someone else has to host. I predict that there will be at least three people that I usually have at my place who will be hosting parties of their own this year, which means I will, sadly, not be able to be surrounded by all of my friends, as I have been in the past. However, it also means that I get to meet new people, depending on where I do go. As of yet, I don't know of anyone who is throwing a New Year's Eve party, but I would be shocked and appalled if none of my friends did. So if anyone plans on it, please let me know, eh. There are a lot of y'all I haven't seen in a while, and I insist that somebody else keep up the tradition.